Very strange indeed

This one?

OR

This one?

Explosive glare or just checking out the contenders?

There is something happening in the Malaysian political scene that just doesn't feel right la. You know what I mean? Normally, when somebody makes an accusation that some VVIP has done something wrong the said VVIP will come out in arms and defend him/her self to the fullest extent which usually means throwing the whole book (which is written by their cronies of course) at the accuser. We have seen it happen all too often, right? From Mahathir days until now. So, don't you think something is not right here?

Raja Petra has made a Statutory Declaration claiming that he has reason to believe that Najib's wife was present at the murder scene when Mongolian model Altantuya's body was blown up by C4 explosives.

Nothing much happened after that event. Nobody even came out to say a word. Sure the AG later, much later, made some noise about RPK having to face the music if he cannot prove his allegations but that is so unlike the Malaysian way of handling these things. No? The ISA wasn't pulled out. The police didn't even bother to storm RPK's house and take away his computer. Again. And it took some days before Najib and his Rosmah came out with some limp statements in their own defense. Okay, okay so our dear Prime Minister did say that he didn't believe what RPK alleged or something to that effect la. But who listens to him these days? Wait...somebody just called and told me that he read that Najib has come out and called RPK a liar. Wah! That's all ah? Haven't you and your cronies sent people to Kamunting for much less than what RPK has done? So what happened la dei?

Is RPK a liar as claimed by Najib? Is it all just a PKR-organised smear campaign? I really don't care.

I just want to know why this whole thing isn't handled in a Malaysian way. What do you think?

Niamah!!!

Them and Us

See? We got the best of everything. Don't pray pray ah.

Huh? Wait I take a nap first...

I will make everything better. Trust me.

It would appear that each time I visit Singapore the price of something goes up. The last time I was here taxi and bus fares were increased. Then when I came for a meeting last month there were the repercussions of the fuel price hike in Malaysia which caused ripples of complaints among Singaporeans here. This time round it's ERP! The day I stepped off the bus I spotted the news. They are going to erect more ERP gantries in July and at the same time also increase ERP charges. In some area by a hell of a lot. So where drivers used to pay S$0.50 per entry they might now have to fork out up to S$2.00 for the privilege of driving into certain areas of the CBD or whatever they call them here. All this is to reduce congestion in the city state's roads and highways and to maintain the average speed of these roads at something like 24kph or something like that la.

Anyway, during the course of me watching all this going on I met groups of Singaporeans and heard what they had to say about how price increases affected or were going to affect their daily lives. And I came to the conclusion that most Singaporeans belong to these distinct groups of thinking.

1. Those who are resigned to the fact that what their government tells them or does is for their own good and that there is nothing they can do about it otherwise. "Hiyah! What to do? Cannot do anything one la. Complain also no use. They sure win one."

2. Those who are not happy about their government's actions and will complain. They gather in coffee shops and hawker centres and complain. Adding yet another topic of conversation to the mix with their kopi-o or S$5.20 Carlsberg, Tiger or Heineken. And after the 6th or 8th or 207th bottle of the brews nothing is as bad as they thought. And so everybody goes home happy.

3. Those who are resigned to the fact that they live in a first world country where everything works. Public transportation is efficient. Environment is clean. So "...yeah I don't think everything that the government does is great but it's...okay what. Right?..."

Actually, that got me thinking about how they do things in Singapore versus how we do things in Malaysia. They have mastered the art of how to shut up the rakyat before they even start.

Them:

As of tomorrow, the price of petrol is going up 600%!

What the F**K!!.....let's...

But wait ah the buses run on time. MRT got air-con and gets you to the places you want to go relatively cheaply.

Us:

As of tomorrow, the price of petrol is going up 600%!

What the F**K!!...let's...

But wait ah. The buses...errr...we will of course be using the money saved from subsidies to conduct studies on how to improve our public transport system. By the way, we shall be sending a high level team to Zimbabwe to research their public transport system.

Them:

Hiyah what to do? Cannot change one la.

Us:

Hiyah what to do? Cannot change one la...
Eh! Wait ah! Of course can change one. Let's walk, demonstrate, shower with water cannon...sure can one.

Them:

"...yeah I don't think everything that the government does is great but it's...okay what. Right?..."

Us:

"...yeah I don't think everything that the government does is great but it's...okay what. Right?..."
Ya lor. Malaysia is a beautiful country. Got no war. Got no natural disaster. The food damn good...

Eh? No lah. Sure got all these things la but if WE don't do anything about how we want these things to be managed properly we are F**Ked!

So yeah. We are different. Singaporeans and us Malaysians. But here I think that Barisan Nasional or Pakatan this-that-and-the-other can learn a valuable lesson from the Lee management corporation. And that is...

Give the people what they need and want. The basics of life. Work, housing, education, health-care, transportation etc. Once they are satisfied with the basic needs...

Then you can screw them up the ass and they won't even whimper. And you can go on and on and on and on like the Duracell bunny or like the Lee's. No good meh?

Ah one more difference between them and us. Their minister also make statements telling them to "change your lifestyle" to fight rising prices. Yeah they do that here as well. And just like us their ministers are all millionaires who don't have to change shit-all. But when that happens here the Singaporeans smile and laugh and think their minister just spouted words of wisdom. When we hear our flers telling us to change our lifefstyle we give them a LOUD....


NIAMAH!!!

Be afraid. Be very afraid!

Believe me. Sure donch hap wan. Ok?

"No more hikes in fuel prices this year:KL"

I read that news headline in the morning papers today. It sent a chill down my spine. It curdled the milk in my cereal. It rippled the coffee in my cup.

Prime Minister, Abdullah Badawi has announced that there would not be further petrol price hikes this year.

Yes. He is the same person who has a perfect track record for making things happen. In the opposite direction la.

No. I am not getting married. Boom! He gets married.
No. I will not dissolve Parliament. Boom! He dissolves Parliament the very next day.
No. There will be no fuel price increase (the first time last week). Boom! RM2.70 per litre the next day.

And now "No more hikes in fuel prices this year".

At the petrol station pumps everyone can hear you scream.......

NIAMAH!!!

Good morning, Malaysia

I read the online newspapers today. There's more surprising and frightening news, folks. Welcome to a Malaysian Wednesday morning. The government has announced, as part of its efforts to alleviate the 'suffering' of the Rakyat resulting from the recent price increases, that civil servants will now be allowed to take part-time jobs and participate in businesses. TAA-DAA!!!

Ya, like they ever needed anybody's permission to do that.

“This is a long-term solution to the high cost of living we are experiencing,” said minister in the Prime Minister's department Senator Amirsham Abdul Aziz, who also heads the Economic Planning Unit. A guy with this kind of reasoning heads the economic planning unit???


Latest: NOW I HEAR FROM A COUPLE OF PEOPLE WHO KNOW THAT THE CIVIL SERVICE STANDING ORDERS DO NOT ALLOW THEM TO TAKE PART-TIME WORK!!! SO WHAT COCK IS THIS MINISTER IN THE PRIME MINISTER'S DEPT. TALKING ABOUT? BUT I SUPPOSE HE'S SHOWING THAT HE HAS THE NECESSARY TALENTS FOR WORK WITH THIS PRIME MINISTER.

So think about it folks. Does the latest decree from our government mean that we can kiss goodbye to 30-minute passport renewals, making police reports from any balai polis, a smile over the counter at a government department and all the other things that we thought were 'soooooo good' when Pak Lah made those surprise visits to this and that department so long ago?

Add all that on top of the people getting pissed off and still coming to terms with the petrol and diesel price hike and you've got a great formula for disaster. I guess the BN flers are too busy pondering their next ASEAN holiday plan to worry about trivial matters like that.

LATEST June 12, 2008: "Ismail (DG of the Public Service Dept.) said civil servants, regardless of their rank, were permitted to take up part-time jobs under the Public Officers (Conduct and Discipline) Amendment Regulations 2002."

See? That's something else that you as a member of the Rakyat didn't know. Since 2002 these baargers have been given permission to moonlight. At whose expense? At what expense?

NIAMAH!!!

Well thank you all over the place!

Abdullah Badawi has just announced that as part of efforts to offset the recent fuel price increase government leaders will be leading by example, by slashing expenditure . Measures that will lighten the burden on the people. Or so the P.M. and his people claim. The money would go towards expanding the social safety net for the poor and lower-income group he announced.

"All parties must now be prudent and find ways to reduce expenditure, including the government. The government feels the people's suffering and has decided that the country's leadership should set an example in facing this challenge," Abdullah said.

Wah! They are going to lead by example? Wah damn good man. And about bloody time too. But wait ah. Sometimes, what you think may not be what is. And in this case it sure ain't!

"All cabinet members and deputy ministers will take a 10 per cent cut in their entertainment allowances".

"..........paid holidays have also been slashed to one week a year and limited to Asean countries."

Well, thank you all over the place, Mr.Prime Minister and all our fat cat Y.B.'s. I am going to so grateful that you are not going to entertain so much now. And that you will only take one week holidays and only to ASEAN countries.

You do that while telling me and all other Malaysians to change our lifestyle, plant our own vegetables on our apartment balconies, tighten our belts and et cetera, et cetera et cetera.

Well, pardon me if I think you are talking through your southern orifice. Sir. Please don't misunderstand and try and tell me your usual P.R. department-generated crap like global price increases, how we must be prudent like other nations.

We know what the realities are. We just don't want to listen to bullshit. Like this from your deputy...."It won't be fair if only the rakyat, and not members of the administration, shoulder the burden." And so you and your kaki's try to pacify us by taking a 10% cut in your entertainment expenses?

Tell you what Pak Lah...if you really don't know what to say just....SHUT UP! Can ah?

NIAMAH!!!

Advice, advice everywhere

It always happens. Haven't you noticed? Whenever there is a price increase. Of anything. Commodities. Fuel. School fees. Whatever. That is soon followed by a barrage of advice. Mostly from our politicians and most times echoed by our mainstream media boys who do sometimes get independantly creative too.

So, the price of petrol has gone up by more than 40%. Electricity tariffs are also up. And of course the price of EVERYTHING will be up soon enough. And so the advice brigade go to work.

Change your lifestyle is an ever-popular piece. We've been told to change our lifestyle so often by our government that to change some more would probably mean that we actually go live in trees and eat roots and grasses.

Here's a new one. At least I don't remember having heard it before...

"[People] need to be thrifty in their life. If they have some spare land near their house, they can start planting vegetables. For those staying in high-rise like apartments, they can use the pots or the hydroponics method". This great piece of advice was mouthed off by Mohd. Yusuf Abdul Rahman, the communications director of FOMCA.

Spare land near their houses to plant vegetables???!!! High-rise apartment dwellers to plant using hydrpponics method???!!! Where's this guy been the past 24 years? So in addition to having to work 8-10 hours a day and fight traffic commuting while burning fuel you can't afford you're expected to come home, change into your sarong and go be a farmer???!!! Anyway, any law-abiding Malaysian will tell you that soon's your vegetable patch is ready for harvest DBKL will pay you a visit, confiscate your vegetables for unlicensed farming and issue you a summons to appear in court!

And today's STAR carried a whole list of what you should do to save fuel while using your car. One of the "tips" given was that we should drive with our windows closed as open windows create wind drag which would require more burning of fuel to propel the vehicle. Well, thank you all over the place, Mr. Wong Chun Wai and your creative writers. Drive with closed windows? Wouldn't that mean that we would have to turn on air-conditioning and wouldn't that translate into using more fuel? Or are you suggesting that Malaysians drive with car windows closed and no air-conditioning? You can't be serious! Really? You try it first la.

A question that I would like to ask anyone of you out there who know is this. Didn't the government say earlier that the fuel subsidy issue was going to solved in a way that would tax the rich and help the poor? So what happened ah? I thought the bigger the car you drive the more you pay. So now the price of petrol is RM2.70 for everyone. So I am a poor working slob driving a Kancil and barely making ends meet and I pay the same price as the baarger who is chauffeured around in a 3,500cc petrol guzzling monster who vacations in the Bahamas twice a year? So okay, he doesn't get the RM625 annual rebate. Big fucking deal! That's RM1.71 a day. That won't buy me a kopi-O once the full impact of the price increases kicks in. So what happened there? Aiyah! Too complicated la to have 2 systems la. So everybody kena la. Of course some kena worse than others la. But don't demonstrate, okay? Thank you ah.

A commentor on the other post here said......start doing something about the whole situation instead of whining like babies! What good does it bring lahhh.... We all angry, mogok dont come to work, strike, then what? Got difference ar? The first thing to change is not govt but our attitudes.

Well, thank you for that piece of advice!!! You obviously are missing the point. Sure we should start doing something about it. What? Live with it? Say, okay what to do la? Thank you very much.

It is this type of attitude that needs changing.

Am I angry because price of fuel has increased? Am I angry that the government no longer subsidises fuel prices? No. I am angry because of how I as a Malaysian citizen has been treated in the whole scheme of this price increase thing. Instead of giving me ample warning and advising me on proper steps and precautions to take and giving me a target date to prepare for the impending crunch they say..SURPRISE! CAUGHT YA THERE! HAHAHAHAHA...

And I am supposed to find that amusing? And what's with the fucking advice?

NIAMAH!!! NIAMAH!!! NIAMAH!!! NIAMAH!!!

Learn some Engrand la, morons!

Just like millions of other Malaysians it doesn't take much to make me angry these days. Especially since the events of the past couple of days. So, this evening I had to get into my car and drive into the rush hour Kuala Lumpur traffic to attend a meeting somewhere. As most of you know that activity alone needs a dose of Valium. And so there I was. Sitting in traffic. I decided to turn on the radio. Normally, I am not one to believe that Malaysian radio does anything at all to entertain or calm ones nerves or temper when one is stuck in KL rush hour traffic. But in a temporary lapse of sanity I turned on the radio. Music......music......music....I was looking for a station that had somebody actually saying something. I finally heard voices. The display told me it was some station with the call sign 104.9 on the FM dial. Not that it mattered because every Malaysian radio station sounds exactly the same.

104.9 FM....these 2 deejays, a man and a woman. They were singing a birthday song. Apparently in answer to a request by a listener who'd forgotten to wish someone on the actual day and now was trying to make up by getting these 2 deejays to do it on the radio.

(to the tune of Happy birthday to you.....)

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO (WHATEVER THE NAME WAS)
HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY TO YOU

Normally I would have just shook my head and turned the radio off. But today I was pissed.

You can't wish somebody a happy BELATED BIRTHDAY, you morons!!!

The birthday always falls on the same day. Year after year. What you thought you were doing was wishing the person a belated Happy Birthday. Get it? DUH!

104.9 FM, thanks for spoiling my day. Even more. F**KING Morons!

NIAMAH!!!

Apa the F***!!!

Malaysians queuing up for the latest 'gift' from their government.

Did you join the queues and fill up your tank ah? That's the question I get asked most often the past 24 hours. Well, the answer is "No" I didn't queue up to fill up my car's fuel tank. Instead, I stayed home and thought about the fuel price increase and how it will affect the Malaysian people. While thinking about this I also thought...Eh? What la! After 50 years under this government we have come to this? How can? Okay 50 years with the Barisan Nasional playing our guardians and managers of our resources here's some of what we got...............

The Petronas Twin Towers
Proton cars
Putrajaya
Cyberjaya
Coffee Bean
Starbucks
The Eye on Malaysia ferris wheel
KLIA International Airport


..............and so the lists can go on and on and I am sure that Mahathir will glow listing his many "achievements" for Malaysia. But today I am thinking "Eh! Wait a minute! After 50 years of BN's progress and development I am now being told to...

Change my lifestyle to cope with rising costs. Change my lifestyle? If I change it anymore things won't be 'better than Ghana' anymore la. Like a blogger said this morning, "how to change? I don't take holidays. I don't drink. I don't party. I don't buy expensive clothes. I live a very moderate and thrifty lifestyle already." So how? The kerajaan flers want to tell us, "Here's how la......

Doesn't it make you want to kill somebody when you watch that video?

And another thing is this. Can somebody please tell me why our government always seems to choose this way of telling about price hikes. It's not like "Hey people we can't subsidise anymore la. Sorry ah. So please be prepared for a major increase in prices of (this and that) which will take place in 6 months from today." Clear, transparent. Understood. Right? Wrong. That's not the way.

"No there will be no increase. Well, maybe there will be la but we will inform you in plenty of time. We don't want to burden the people la."

"No definitely no increase."

"No there will definitely be an increase. Soon."

"Maybe there will be an increase. Later this year la"

And then.......BOOM!!! Surprise! Surprise! The increase is effective NOW! Caught ya! I can almost hear the laughter from the cabinet room!

So after 50 years of Barisan Nasional....

The Twin Towers are no longer the world's tallest building.
Proton cars are 2nd grade junk that nobody really wants.
Putrajaya is anything but jaya these days. And nobody wants to live there or work there. Costs too much to drive there with the un-subsidised fuel prices these days.
Cyberjaya is anything but jaya or cyber with residents still waiting for broadband connection for their homes which are supposedly located in the middle of the multi-media super corridor.
Of course, with the new rate of inflation not many people can afford to spend RM15 on a cup of stylish coffee anymore.
Ride the Eye on Malaysia? Nah. Been there done that and it wasn't that great. And by the way the ferris wheel looks a little rusty these days.
KLIA? Who the hell can afford to travel these days? And with petrol at RM2.704 per liter nobody can afford to go to the airport even if they had free Air Asia tickets to fly.

So, thank you Barisan Nasional. You sure did us all a big favor.

NIAMAH!!!

Huh???!!! The sequel.

"Only Barisan Nasional can provide us a future. Party hopping is unhealthy as it does not foster statesmanship, integrity, humility, tolerance and respect, instead of self-empowerment."

Wow! What words of patriotism! What words of loyalty! This type of fler sure will work his guts out for the Rakyat one. What a knight in shining armour!!! Tabik la!

But wait ah.......who is the fler who said this ah?

WHAT???!!!

That statement was made by former Parti Keadilan Rakyat Youth chief Mohamad Ezam Mohd Nor who just hopped from PKR and rejoined Umno. Of course, last time he also hopped from UMNO and joined PKR.

Okay people, maybe I am missing something here. If I am can somebody enlighten me please? And you wonder why we always sigh and say, "POLITICIANS WILL ALWAYS BE POLITICIANS LA." F****RS!

NIAMAH!!!